Nov17-25

Steffi has been begging me to open my blog again and keep track of everything she's missing at home. Of course the only thing missing is her. On Nov17 Steffi decided to check herself into rehab to help her cope and stop cutting herself. Since that time it's been and uphill battle for those of at home, it is very hard for me to put 2 thoughts together. They don't exactly offer advice for parents on how to deal with a 15 year old with severe bipolar who is locked down into a program in which you can see them for 45 minutes once a day.

Starting tonight I'm going to update this normally so that Steffi will see what's happening around here and I'll take some pictures for her. We miss you so much Steffi.

I received this meditation in the email today, it's something I really needed.

A Meditation

Take 10 minutes. Find a totally quiet, private place. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Relax. Empty your mind of all thoughts.

There's a special feeling of a vastly deep Love, an awareness of something bigger and more powerful, deep inside you. It flows from inside to the outside, from the outside to the inside. It is in you, a part of you, it is you, you are it, it is also in others, and in everything. You may have missed it, because it's so totally huge it's hard to pinpoint! Yet it's there. Sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and let your mind and heart open to this Love.

It's very quiet and easily disguised by a bunch of thoughts and feelings. It takes developing a completely new set of spiritual senses to pick it up, but if you seek it, it becomes easy to feel it. Some people call it a “sixth sense.” It takes being very, very still, and very open.

If you don't immediately experience this for yourself, don't worry. Don't feel bad about it. Just give yourself a little more love, and time. Try it again later, or tomorrow.